Musical Humor

Here, I give some funny meanings to some of the wide array of musical terms (from dynamics, to tempo, to even names of classical music pieces!!).

I hope all of you enjoy this humor.......

a tempo (It. "back to (regular) time")

Going toward temporary work ("a tempo" actually means "back to tempo" in Italian.)

accent

Happiness.

adagio (It. "leisurely")

A type of Alzheimer's disease.

alla breve

In a style of a short play.

allegro (It. "lively")

A condition where weeds grow too fast.

amplifier

A firestarter.

appoggiatura

A type of absorbent sponge or towel.

arpeggiation

The act of jumping while playing the harp.

arpeggio

Jumping while playing the harp.

augmentation

The act of using an auger.

bagatelle

A type of notation.

bar line

An imaginary horizontal line that goes about chest level.

baroque

A type of barometer.

bass clef

Having long hair on one's back.

baton

A large baseball bat or a baseball bat in general.

bebop

A jail by way of electric shock.

blind octave

A type of octave played by those pianists who are blindfolded.

blue note

A note that triggers depression.

blues

Music that requires a blue-colored background.

bolero (Sp. "a slow type of 3/4 dance with triplets")

Overt sex.

bop

A pop of a large bubble.

bracket

Quiet, gentle type of kiss.

canon

A small cannon.

chord

A long string made out of wire.

clarinet

A sharp brightness.

classic rock

A rock that is at least a billion years old.

con espressione (It. "with expression")

Another way of saying "I want espresso coffee."

contrabass

Going against the bottom.

contrabassoon

Going against the grain.

contrary motion

A second regular ballroom dance position.

count-off

The act of not counting.

crash cymbal

The ultimate sex symbol.

cross-staff

A type of Kali or Escrima technique or techniques.

cut-off

A cul-de-sac.

cymbal

An instrument that triggers sexual arousal.

damper

A high-moisture environment.

damper pedal

A moisture producer.

diminution

The act of not using an auger.

distortion

The end of harmony.

dodecaphony

A type of dijeridoo technique.

dodecatuplet

12 babies.

doo-wop

A sound effect of someone slipping.

dotted whole note

Open space in the city.

down-bow

A regular recital bowing technique.

duplet

A clone.

étude (Fr. "study")

Having a French attitude.

Eighteen-Twelve (1812) Overture

A type of fireworks salute.

English horn

A trumpet that is often used in sad blues music.

espressivo (It. "expressive")

A teeny bit of espresso coffee.

extended beaming

Used on a ship to tie certain different knots altogether.

false octave

A form of schizophrenia.

fermata (It. "paused")

A maze.

Flutterzunge (Ger. "flutter-tongue")

A type of temporomandibular joint (or "TMJ") condition.

flute

A flop.

gavotte (Fr. "a type of 4/4 dance in a Baroque suite")

A type of veto.

glissando (It. "sliding")

A strong feeling for Latin music.

grace note

A type of note derived particularly by God's faith.Also: A note from Ms. Manners.

half-step

The first basic move in ballroom dancing.

harpsichord

A harp which has electronic chord symbols on it.

hi-hat

One wearing a hat that is at least 12 inches high.

ictus

A type of eczema.

imitation

A bad item.

impromptu (Fr. "capricious", "unexpected")

An important new ballet.

intro

The entrance.

jarabe

A Japanese jacket.

kick drum

A drum that is often used to treat impotence or erectile dysfunction.

lead-in

The inner part of the pencil.

legato (It. "binded", "smooth")

A hiccup sound.

major scale

Morbid obesity.

malagueña (Sp. "a type of fast 3/4 dance from Málaga")

A bad woman.

mambo (Cub. Sp. "a type of dance related to cha-cha")

A type of Cuban voodoo.

marimba

A place in India that had been known for good karma.

martellato (It. "hammered")

A billiard artist executing a "massé" shot.

matrix

A random musical generator.

measure

A type of rhythmic torture.

MIDI (Music Instrument Digital Interface)

A dwarf.

midi-note

A very long note.

minor scale

Underweight.

Moonlight Sonata (op. 27, no. 2, for piano, by Beethoven)

A type of music which would be perfect for a honeymoon.

movement

A new type of mint candy.

music therapy

A type of rhythmic massage.

musical

A type of musical.

new wave

A type of dance move inspired by James Brown.

nonet

Celebrating Tet New Year 9 times.

octave

A condition where a person is moved into action.

octet

Celebrating Tet New Year 8 times.

orchestra

A series of voices.

organ

An important part of a musical body.

outro

A walk-off.

overture

An oversized partition.

Pan flute

A flute that is in a shape of a circle.

parallel motion

A regular ballroom dance pattern.

parallel octave

Steel beams that are 8 feet across and are stacked 8 feet vertically.

passepied

A French flute.

piano (It. "soft"; "pianoforte")

A martian sound.

poco a poco (It. "litlte by little")

A stalker's movement.

polonaise (Fr. "in the Polish style")

A water polo person.

power ballad

Having two microphones to your hand to tell a story.

prestissimo (It. "as fast as possible")

A teeny fruit fly.

prima donna (It. "first lady")

A song about the Virgin Mary.

pyromusical

An event involving a musician or musicians being set on fire.

quadruplet

4 babies.

quarter rest

Moderate bit of utopia.

quartet

Celebrating Tet New Year 4 times a year.

quintuplet

5 babies.

rest

Utopia.

retrograde

A hippie.

retrograde-inversion

A hippie who looks to the future.

rhapsody

A jump in response to a balloon burst.

ride cymbal

The near-ultimate sex symbol.

rock

A musical instrument where you use two rocks to hit together to make a sound.

scherzo (It. "joke"; a fast 3rd movement from a sonata)

A polka galop turn in closed position.

serialism

The act of socialism.

serialistic

Being socialist.

septuplet

7 babies.

sextet

Celebrating Tet New Year 6 times.

sextuplet

6 babies.

shuffle

A blowing technique.

sixteenth rest

Extreme bit of utopia.

smooth jazz

Jazz played while someone is massaging or on ice.

solo

The sun.

soloist

One who makes the sun.

sound note

Having unorthodox instruments ready to play in drawers.

space note

A letter in a bottle that flies through the solar system.

spring song

A type of rhythm done by a jumping grasshopper.

staff

A strong Moses fan.

straight eighths

A person who is not gay.

subdivision

Dancing underground.

suite

A musical apartment.

swing eighths

A person who is gay.

symphony

A state of balanced happiness.

synthesizer

A type of skin lesion.

tarantella (It. "fast dance in 6/8 meter")

A type of twisting spaghetti.

tempo (It. "time")

A temporary worker.

tirade

A mortar shot.

tom-tom

An irregular line-drawing design.

tone row

A type of Basilica column.

treble clef

Having long hair on one's shoulders.

triplet

A small object that causes people to trip.

trio

A type of Morse code.

turnaround

A type of concerto cadenza.

twelve-bar blues

A short form of depression.

twelve-tone

A series of twelve tones used in a piece, usually used in a doorbell.

up-bow

Another recital bowing technique.

vaudeville

Derived from a certain French town known for vaults.

waltz

A gentler form of saying "watts".

whole-step

The second basic move in ballroom dancing.

xylophone

A microphone that is shaped either like the letter "Y".

Basic Social Samba (for U.S. Rhythm and International Styles)

THE SAMBA

The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

It started out from its ancient days of capoeira, a play-fight dance by Brazilian slaves which is now still popular today. An offshoot of capoeira was a type of dance called the samba da roda (or "samba in the round"), where dancing movements usually focus on circular movements and part of the moves led to the famous conga line. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

Later on, the other Brazilian dances, like the bataque, maxixe (a type of move where there is a side-step on the free foot, then a close on the trail foot, and then a side-step and point on the free foot again), and the semba, and its modern but slower version of the samba, the bossa nova (thanks to composer Antonio Carlos Jobim), all of this completed the circle of what is now the modern samba. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

Carmen Miranda's dancing videos and the yearly Rio de Janeiro carnival parades added some more excitement to the samba dance. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

Samba's Technique The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

One of the techniques used in modern samba that will allow for the common hip movements used in this dance is the bouncing action. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

This bouncing action is used by way of the flexing and straightening of the knees in certain samba steps....but not all of them. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

1. Start with feet together.
2. Now, go down slightly with upper body still straight,
and flex knees
3. Go up back to normal position, straightening knees.
The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

This will introduce you to the Rhythm Bounce, a samba figure that often sets you up to dance the basic steps of samba. Note that in this figure, you dance in place; you don't travel yet. Moreover, the leader and follower do exactly the same body actions so there are no natural opposite movements. The samba came from the South American counry of Brazil, known for the famous Amazon river.

Rhythm Bounce

Leader and Follower
1. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 1
2. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees
3. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 2
4. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees

Repeat steps 1-4 if needed.

Rhythm Bounce Rotating to L

You will do the same steps but you rotate a 1/4 turn or 1/2 turn to the L on the 4 steps.

Leader and Follower
1. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 1
2. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees
3. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 2
4. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees

Repeat steps 1-4 if needed.

Rhythm Bounce Rotating to R

You will do the same steps but you rotate a 1/4 turn or 1/2 turn to the R on the 4 steps.

Leader and Follower
1. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 1
2. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees
3. Go down to flex knees at about a 1/4 squat 2
4. Go up into normal standing position, and
straightening knees

Repeat steps 1-4 if needed.

Samba Basic

This had been used in both American and International Samba. In International Samba is known as the Alternate Basic Movement.

The whole effect of the Samba basic is almost like the Forward and Back Hesitation steps in Waltz, but with a weight change forward and back, each of them in place.

Start and end in Closed Position.

Leader
1. Forward LF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back RF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Follower
1. Forward RF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back LF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Repeat ad lib.

Samba Basic Rotating To Left

This has the same movements as the Samba Basic, but you rotate a 1/2 turn to L on the 8 steps. If the 8 steps are repeated, you rotate another 1/2 turn to the L.

Start and end in Closed Position.

Leader
1. Forward LF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back RF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Follower
1. Forward RF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back LF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Repeat ad lib.

Samba Basic Rotating To Right

This has the same movements as the Samba Basic, but you rotate a 1/2 turn to R on the 8 steps. If the 8 steps are repeated, you rotate another 1/2 turn to the R

Start and end in Closed Position.

Leader
1. Forward LF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back RF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Follower
1. Forward RF, slightly flexing knees 1
2. Close up LF to RF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Step RF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
4. Slightly straighten knees and
5. Back LF, slightly flexing knees 1
6. Close up RF to LF, slightly straightenig knees a
7. Step LF in place, slightly flexing knees 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Repeat ad lib.

Promenade Walks

Oh, yeah! Now here's a move that will travel a little bit on the floor. Modern samba had been known for
advanced travel movements like the Promenade Runs, but this move is much easier.

Start and end in Promenade Position.

Leader
1. Forward LF, slightly flexing the knees 1
2. Rock back in place RF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Rock forward in place LF, flexing knees again 2
4 Slightly straighten knees and
5. Forward and across RF, slightly flexing the knees 1
6. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
7. Rock forward in place RF, flexing knees again 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Follower
1. Forward RF, slightly flexing the knees 1
2. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Rock forward in place RF, flexing knees again 2
4 Slightly straighten knees and
5. Forward and across LF, slightly flexing the knees 1
6. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
7. Rock forward in place RF, flexing knees again 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Repeat ad lib.

Note: On every fourth step (on every "1" count), the free foot will always step across the trail foot.

The reason for the description of the knee actions in the steps is to create that samba bounce action.

Promenade Walks---Alternate Version

Start and end in Promenade Position. This move gives a little bit more of an International Samba feeling.

Leader
1. Forward LF, slightly flexing the knees 1
2. Rock back in place RF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Draw LF back to RF, flexing knees again 2
4 Slightly straighten knees and
5. Forward and across RF, slightly flexing the knees 1
6. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
7. Draw RF back to LF, flexing knees again 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

Follower
1. Forward RF, slightly flexing the knees 1
2. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
3. Draw RF back ot LF, flexing knees again 2
4 Slightly straighten knees and
5. Forward and across LF, slightly flexing the knees 1
6. Rock back in place LF, slightly straightening knees a
7. Draw LF back to RF, flexing knees again 2
8. Slightly straighten knees and

As before in the regular Promenade Walks, the knee actions are described also to create the samba bounce action.

To "draw" means to pull back the lead foot to close up to the trail foot.